Does everyone deserve a second chance?

We often face such incidents in life where a person close to us make certain mistakes and their actions hurt us..

We feel the pain inside our heart but seldom they realize their mistakes.
Do you think we should have a big heart and give the other person a second chance or keep the grudges and the pain deep inside our hearts forever?
Should we forgive and let go and try to rekindle our friendship or….

P s. Recently I’ve been in such a situation where something similar happened in one of my relationships. But I believe if the other person has the realization they deserve to have a second chance in life because it’s human to make mistakes and I would rather not want a person to live in guilt because of me..

Have you ever been in such a situation? If yes, how did you decide to deal with it?

60 thoughts on “Does everyone deserve a second chance?”

      1. I would analyze their response to those mistakes. I would use my gut instinct to see if I feel that they are sincere. If for any reason, I feel doubt, that is an indication for me to say no to this second chance.
        I would also look at this person’s actions towards you – before and after the situation happened. I would pay more attention to after though. If you notice any behavior that you realize was not okay – say something about it. Trust your instincts and proceed with caution is really the best advice I can give you. I hope it helps 💖

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  2. To err is human they say, second chances are redemption to a lot of people who want to make things right. So second chances should be given if someone is truly looking to right their wrong. But some people who think they deserve second chances just because they abused the first one may take advantage of the second ones if they are given easily. Some even feel they are entitled to second chances and those are the ones you must be careful of. Holding grudges aren’t a good thing, but only walk with people that will light your path.

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    2. Such a beautiful lesson in life you have given.. We should always beware of the ones trying to make use of our kindness.. But if the other person has the realization I think we shouldn’t hold on to the grudges also..
      Blessings 🌸

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  3. It’s good to start afresh with hope while the second chances are granted forgivingly. However most of the times it is better to move on for personal growth and self discovery if there is probability for the second chance to be taken for granted.

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  4. I believe that giving a second chance to someone is alright as long as it doesn’t mean getting disrespected, abused or misused by them. If that person genuinely wants a second chance with good intentions, it’s better to give him that. 🍃✨

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      1. Yes I have and it’s a tough decision to make, whether to give someone a second chance or not. I chose to give a second chance and so far it’s going good 🙂 with a great amount of faith, understanding, mindfulness and effective communication, second chances sometimes turn into the most rewarding gifts of our lives.

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  6. You have a question here. It depends on how serious the mistake is. There is no second chance for a murdere right (physically or mentally it is still a murder). But i would personally suggest, Do what you’re Heart says, while you still can listen to public opinions. But don’t do opinions in action. It’s all in your heart ✨

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  7. I’ve had a lot of situations where someone who hurt me has stayed in my life for whatever reason. Forgiveness is important, but it’s hard for me to really let go of grudges. Whether or not I can let go of grudges depends on the situation.

    If it’s ok, instead of telling my story, I’ll just link to posts I wrote about this topic. Here are some posts from 2014 about someone who hurt me, but I (eventually) was able to successfully rekindle our friendship.
    https://highwaypi.wordpress.com/2014/07/19/exit-12-i-chose-poorly/
    https://highwaypi.wordpress.com/2014/09/06/exit-19-it-feels-good-to-be-friends-again/
    (Since then, we have grown apart from natural causes, but we were on good terms.)

    And here is a letter I never sent from 2018 about someone who hurt me, who I concluded was better off out of my life. I’m not sure how much of the issue is being angry about what happened vs. just being disappointed with the way things went after we tried being friends again. (The reference to “considering what day it is” was because I wrote and published this on her birthday.)
    https://highwaypi.wordpress.com/2018/08/05/exit-210-a-letter-ill-never-send/

    And what’s interesting is that I mentioned someone with the pseudonym “Diphda” in the first story, and about a year after I wrote that, Diphda and her boyfriend/now husband were directly involved in the incident behind the second story. (Long story, but if you’re curious, I’ll explain later.) And I feel like I didn’t forgive them. I had been growing apart from them somewhat to begin with, so they weren’t a major part of my life at the time, but I just wanted to distance myself from the situation, and I really did feel deeply betrayed by their part in the situation, to the point that I really don’t ever want to open up to them again.

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    1. I guess in life I’ve never hold on to grudges.. I’ve always let them go, we have to forgive not for the other person but for ourselves.. So that we can live with peace.
      And I’ll go through all these posts. Would like if you could share anymore details you maybe interested in.. 🌸

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      1. I completely agree with you about not holding on to grudges. I just have a very hard, if not impossible, time doing that myself. It’s not the way I instinctively see the world. Someone does something wrong, I want them to have consequences. (I’ll get back to you later about the more details.)

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      3. The first two links I sent, about Mimosa and Acrux, the whole story is pretty much there. (Mimosa came back into my life for a while, like I said. Acrux didn’t. I’m not sure if I’d say I held a grudge against her. I feel like it didn’t really matter since I never saw her again. However, it seems like she would often (especially in the early days after it happened) come up in conversation, and my tendency was to be negative, and that’s probably not really healthy either.

        In that post, I also mentioned Diphda (none of these are real names, of course), who expressed interest in me around the same time as Acrux (early 2011, specifically), and I felt like I chose poorly because I chose Acrux (although Diphda had said she was kind of seeing someone at the time, and I don’t know whatever became of that). But then the other incident happened.

        I’ll try to keep this short: I dated the addressee of the letter I never sent (I’ve called her “1604” in other posts) off and on in 2015. When we got back together the second time, all of a sudden she was always too busy for me. She kept saying (and it may have been true, to some extent) that she really did want to be with me, it was just a rough time with family and work and health stuff. After dealing with that for a little over a month, we broke up for good, with her saying that it just wasn’t a good time for her to be in a relationship with anyone, and she cared too much for me to see me keep getting hurt.

        Two weeks later, 1604 and I were both at a social event at the house of a mutual friend (I don’t remember if I’ve ever used a fake name for him. I’ll call him N.). N lives in a gated apartment complex. Diphda and her boyfriend C eventually got there, and I went out to open the gate for them. Diphda asked how I was doing, and I said not so well, I was getting over a breakup, and I explained to her the short version (what I said in the above paragraph) and the fact that she was at N’s house tonight. I quietly pointed out which one 1604 was after we got inside.

        Unbeknownst to me, after Diphda and her boyfriend met 1604 at N’s house, they decided that 1604 and one of C’s best friends would make a great couple, and this guy and 1604 started dating not too long after. I didn’t find out until three months later. Who does that? When you find out that your friend has just been through a breakup, what would drive someone to set up the friend’s ex with someone you know (who I should add also has a recent history with someone else in this friend circle)? Do normal people really do that? Maybe dumb selfish horny teenagers, but Diphda and her boyfriend were in their early 30s when this happened.

        After I found about it, three months after Diphda and 1604 met, I had a party at my house and didn’t invite 1604. She saw pictures, called her best friend crying that I didn’t invite her, and eventually decided to contact me so we could work things out and she could tell her side of the story. She said she went on a blind date and things just happened. I reminded her what she told me when we broke up, and going on a blind date a few weeks later are not the actions of someone who isn’t in a place to be in a relationship with anyone. She said she really did want to stay on good terms, and I told her I really didn’t know if or when I would be ready for that.

        Meanwhile, Diphda also tried to apologize to me, saying that she never intended anyone to get hurt, and that she just saw 1604 and that other guy as two single available people who would get along well. I explained to her why I felt betrayed, and she just reiterated that she never intended anyone to get hurt. I never really talked to Diphda again. She and C got married in early 2017, and theirs was the only wedding I’ve ever been invited to which I have missed simply on the grounds that I didn’t want to go (as opposed to having other plans, or car trouble, or having a long way to travel). I didn’t feel like I needed backstabbers in my life, especially since we’d grown apart anyway.

        A month later (this would be April 2016) 1604 texted me out of nowhere. I gave a very noncommittal “that’s nice” type response. A few days after that, we crossed paths face to face (again through something N invited us both to), and at one moment the two of us were out of earshot of anyone else, and I said I really didn’t want to be mad. She apologized again (and also told me that she and the other guy had broken up by then, which I think I had overheard anyway). We were on good terms for the rest of 2016, but she was a lot more distant than she had been before. New Year’s Eve 2016-17 was the last time I would see her face to face.

        1604 found a new circle of friends in 2017 and pretty much completely ditched me and N and our whole group. A few times over the course of that year, she messaged me to see how I was doing, I would reply and attempt to initiate a conversation, and then she wouldn’t write back. In early 2018, I decided she wasn’t worth it, not so much because I was mad at her, but because having her message me every few months was getting my hopes up that would at least be close friends again, and then those hopes were dashed when she didn’t reply back, and I was tired of that. I cut her off of my social media, and while I was at it I cut off Diphda and C too.

        I know holding grudges isn’t good. I’m still upset about what happened, mostly just because dating and romantic opportunities are so few and very far between for me. I can’t break up with someone and then meet someone else a few weeks later like she can. And I think that, given that background, I’m just better off without any of those people in my life. (Sorry to dump all this on you, but you wanted details.)

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      5. I hope I’ve learned something from this, but relationships are so alien to me and I’ve been hurt in so many unexpected and unpredictable ways that I really don’t know. The only way to avoid these mistakes for good is to give up on dating altogether and accept that I’m going to be alone (reminiscent of the movie War Games). But we’ll see.

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      6. I believe each one of us has a soul mate. And at the right time we meet that person… Till that time, we can try to learn from our diverse experiences and grow with each one. Blessings and love. ❤️🌸

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  8. You can not force the other person to have a realization. I do not even have that power. But as a Father I have the power to tell you that being from Texas. You stepped on the Rattlesnake twice and it bit you twice. It bites you the 3rd time that is your problem not mine. Some people do not deserve a second chance. You let them fall. You take care of yourself and your emotions. You change the variables never show weakness the opposite of Western thought for a young lady.

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  9. Just today, I got rejected for two things. And it hurt because I was pretty sure I’d get in. I don’t even know that I “deserve” a second chance. There most probably isn’t a second chance for this. But I guess, I gotta move on. 😣

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  10. Mistakes can be forgiven depending on it severity and of course realization of the same by the one who committed. But blunders and crimes need not be considered for forgiveness. There is other way round as well… One should not take it for granted; what I mean is committing mistakes every time and then asking for forgiveness as the counterparty will forgive you as he/she had done in the past. There should be a proper benchmark for such situations…

    Good post indeed… Liked it… 🙂

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  14. I believe it depends upon the person’s attitude and the severity of what this person has done. Some people will not change no matter how many chances you give them. These people don’t deserve a second chance. People who see the error of their ways, and especially if they apologize, they deserve a second chance.

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  15. I believe in second chances. We’re all human. I’m in the position of whether or not a person deserves a third chance. How does the saying go, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”

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  16. I PERSONALLY have to believe that I must forgive what others do to me……not for their sake but for my own. To have a clean pure heart that does not contain anger or live in the rush of bad memories is the only way that I can maintain PEACE in life. We actually can be forgiven by God for ever. Time and time again…….The power of LOVE does bring FORGIVENESS its true value.

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